It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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