I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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