i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
