She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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