i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
