Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
