Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
