Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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