If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
