Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
