remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
