Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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