thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
