I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
