I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
