AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
