brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
