its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
