I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
