Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Only a mothe r could love this liver
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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