And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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