i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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