You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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