please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
