I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
