Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
