You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
