Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
