Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
