why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
