she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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