the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
