if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
