My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
