We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
