Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
