Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
