honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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