Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
