I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
