angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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