He is an equal opportunity slut.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
