I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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