it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
