We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Randomize
