He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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