He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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