I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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