hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
