I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
then he tried to convert me to islam
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize