I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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