You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
